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| So I'm back for another post! 7 or-so long months later. So much has changed even since then!
Well let's see. I went to NC with a big group of friends over winter break which was AWESOME. What else.. I got sick and came home from school for the semester. I got Mono, Bronchitis and a peri-tonsilar abcess all at the same time. Awesomeness. So I recovered and then got a job.
Ryan and I broke up, I dated one of my friends casually and it didn't work out, Ryan got a girlfriend, and now I have a boyfriend. I actually met him at work. Oh, yeah, I work @ Koshermart. So much has changed. Epic family drama still exists-- no surprise there. I've been having an interesting time, and I feel I'm growing up. Going back to NP in the fall. Don't know what else to say except I hope this summer is awesome!
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| My last post was a bit philosophical, but almost as if a teacher wrote it.
*floats back to earth*
Counting down the days til I come home.
I won't say which day I'm coming home, but I guarantee it's sooner than you think.
I Miss you. <3
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| Well, the title, you see, is a song I'm singing with the choir in German. It translates roughly to "Don't be afraid, I am with you."
I found it quite appropriate. I've been having a pretty rough time here, I must admit. I've been struggling with loneliness, feelings of confusion, feelings of loss, and just a general feeling that I am growing up. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but It's not easy. I've also had some thoughts to sort out. Some minor drama. Nothing that can't be fixed. My biggest issue lies in the question "What Am I doing?"
Why am I here? What am I going to do with this education? Am I happy here? Would I be happy elsewhere? What am I looking for? Will I find it here?
Who knows?
All I have is questions and a big lack of answers. That's life I suppose.
Struggle leads to growth.
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| Amsterdam.
Hello. It's 10:45 on a Sunday morning and WHY on EARTH should I be awake right now?
Around 10 or so I woke up to meet some friends for brunch. We were supposed to meet @ 10:30. I get a text @ 10:25, while I'm already walking to the dining hall, "oh, we're tired, we're going to sleep in"
Thanks guys. Then I get to the dining hall and it's closed. ugh. so I walk back.
This along with other things just... ugh.
There's this sort of thing, drama, my friend rejecting me all together, and being alone in college that kills me. I get so upset sometimes- I see so much potential in this school, in these classes, in these people, and even in myself, but I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what to do with myself, what classes to take, who to be friends with, if I should be here, if I should be elsewhere. Who knows? I hope to figure it out soon enough.
I haven't written this much in a while.
Facebook is just too public. as is myspace. as is blogspot. and LJ? I don't know.
Now, Warning Sign. *sigh* Only 4 1/2 weeks til Thanksgiving.
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| Wow. it's been so long. I really enjoyed looking back on this.
Just to update you- I graduated HS in June, was being a lazy bum this summer which I LOVED, and now I'm in college. I'm currently on my laptop @ SUNY New Paltz. It's crazy to see how much is changed. I like my friends here and everything, but I really miss my friends at home. I miss all of my friends very much. I especially miss Sarah and Ryan. I'm having so much trouble without them. It's so different. Just... It's fall.
The first fall I haven't been with Sarah in 7 years. This is our season. Everything changes, the people change, relationships change, the leaves change, the seasons change, music changes.
Just everything.
I've been checking postsecret religiously recently. i wish they posted secrets every day. I count down to Sundays.
I've also been listening to Coldplay and Bright Eyes a lot recently. *sigh*
I'm currently listening to "Don't Panic" by Coldplay. I am typing so fast right now I guess I have a lot to say. I'm learning so much here in college. Not just in class but outside of class. it's so beautiful here. My favorite postsecret actually describes my feelings perfectly.
**sigh**
Fall. Just Fall. 
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